Exploring Dark Triad Traits: Love Styles
The Dark Triad is a constellation of three personality traits: narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. Today we’re looking at how these traits align with the different styles of love, as distinguished by J. A. Lee (1973). For more information about the Dark Triad traits, please read our previous article.
Lee distinguished the different types of love experiences into six love styles by describing them using Greek and Latin words. These love styles are based on the intensity of the loving experience, desired characteristics of the beloved, commitment to the beloved, and expectations about being loved in return. The six love styles are: eros, ludus, storge, mania, agape, and pragma. And they have been found to be related to relationship satisfaction. Eros relates to passionate love, ludas to game-playing love, storge to friendship love, mania to possessive and dependent love, agape to selfless love, and pragma to logical love.
“The characteristic love styles of individuals high on the Dark Triad traits, are ludus (game-playing love) and pragma (logical love). ”
The characteristic love styles of individuals high on the Dark Triad traits, are ludus (game-playing love) and pragma (logical love).
In the ludus love style, love is treated as an uncommitted game, as game playing is characteristic of those high in psychopathy. This may be because such individuals keep others at a distance to maintain their short-term mating style, as they are more avoidantly attached. Also, the game playing produces enough sensation and excitement that psychopathic individuals crave. Like eros, ludus is also distinguished by intense sexual attraction, but unlike eros, ludus lacks emotional intimacy. Ludic lovers are fickle, prioritize personal enjoyment and satisfaction, and have several different partners at the same time. Individuals high in psychopathy and Machiavellianism report more ludic (game playing) love styles, and those high in narcissism report both erotic and ludic love styles.
In the pragma love style, individuals dispassionately seek out others and make rational decisions based on compatibility and so on. This love style is characterized by a cerebral love style, in which individuals who score high on the Dark Triad traits pursue others based on how useful they think the others are, not because of their affection or love for them (using their head, not their heart). This parallels with the idea that various emotional dysfunctions, such as lack of empathy, are linked to the Dark Triad traits. These individuals may use others to get what they want, as they can have a competitive and individualistic social style. A calculating and strategic lifestyle such as this explains why individuals high in the Dark Triad traits lean towards the pragmatic love style.
The ludus love style is associated with, and can be a predictor of, relationship dissatisfaction. This is due to being negatively correlated with trust, commitment and intimacy, which are characteristics of psychopathy. The ludus love style is also associated with the least satisfaction in relationships, in comparison to the other love styles. Similarly, the pragma love style is related to lower relationship satisfaction for men. This shows that all three Dark Triad traits influence what kind of love style an individual adopts, and therefore, have a profound impact on relationship satisfaction.
References
Alavi, M., Mei, T. K., & Mehrinezhad, S. A. (2018). The Dark Triad of personality and infidelity intentions: The moderating role of relationship experience. Personality and Individual Differences, 128.
Hahn, J. & Blass, T. (1997). Dating partner preferences: A function of similarity of love styles. Journal of Social Behavior and Personality, 12.
Hendrick, C., & Hendrick, S. (1986). A theory and method of love. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50.
Hendrick, C., Hendrick, S. S., Adler, N. L. (1988). Romantic relationships: Love, satisfaction, and staying together. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 54.
Jonason, P. K., & Kavanagh, P. (2010). The dark side of love: Love styles and the Dark Triad. Personality and Individual Differences, 49(6).
Jonason, P. K., Li, N. P., Webster, G. D., & Schmitt, D. P. (2009). The dark triad: Facilitating a short-term mating strategy in men. European Journal of Personality, 23.
Lee, J. A. (1973). Colours of love: An exploration of the ways of loving. Toronto: New Press.
Mealey, L. (1995). The sociobiology of sociopathy: An integrated evolutionary model. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 18.
If you or someone you know would like to support in dealing with Dark Triad traits individually or in a relationship, Aleena and our team at The Growth & Wellness Therapy Centre can help. Please contact our intake and administration team to set up a free consultation with Aleena, or book yourself through her online booking link.
About the Author
Aleena Kazi, Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying), is an individual and child therapist at The Growth & Wellness Therapy Centre focused on issues of depression, anxiety, trauma, stress and identity.