How to Break Free From Comparison and Rumination On Social Media
When we are scrolling through social media, we may face the overwhelming urge to compare ourselves, our friends, possessions, and even our mental health to the "picture perfect" people we see on these platforms. While this is normal to do, it can start to impact our mental health if we don’t stay aware of how we might be internalizing the content we are consuming.
As we compare ourselves and our lives to others, our self-image and self-esteem may be impacted which in turn increases our tendency to ruminate. Rumination can be thought of as an excessive and continued tendency to dwell on negative perceptions and contents in a way that creates emotional distress. Like getting stuck in a thought spiral of “I should have a better job at this point in my life - what led me to end up here?” or “I wish I was happier - everything in my life feels so hopeless, there are so many ways that other people are happier than me, why can’t that be me?”
And when we ruminate, guess what happens? We tend to focus on negative aspects of ourselves or our lives in comparison to others, which can then reinforce depressive symptoms. These depressive symptoms then play a role in magnifying those negative or maladaptive thoughts, which ultimately leaves us feeling worse about ourselves and often results in our depressive symptoms worsening.
This cycle can be seen playing out as:
Comparison on social media
Rumination
Focus on negative aspects of ourselves or our lives
Increase in depressive symptoms
It’s important to keep in mind that it isn’t the use of social media itself that can impact our depression, but rather the human tendency to jump from comparing ourselves to others and then ruminating on the ways we may feel ourselves lacking that is maladaptive. When we feel depressed or upset we may then even choose to pass time on social media “doom scrolling” which just starts the cycle up all over again.
So if you notice yourself engaging in this pattern, what can you do? You can find a place where you can interrupt the cycle. Of the above four phases, where could you try to shift the pattern? The first step in breaking this cycle is simply noticing when you fall into it. Having this mindful awareness can help you introduce other skills to reduce this rumination (like using diffusion techniques from ACT), or countering negative aspects by focusing on gratitude or things that are going well in your life. Maybe it’s also choosing to limit when and how you use social media, so you’re exposed less to situations where you compare yourself. Or maybe it’s finding someone to talk to (either a friend or a therapist) about what’s going on in your mind, and what’s making you feel bad about yourself so you can try to challenge or pivot your thoughts.
If you or someone you know is looking for support to stop ruminating or comparing yourself and your life to what you see on social media, reach out to our office to see if we have a clinician who can fit with your needs. We have therapists with a variety of specialties available to help!
About the Author
Kirusana Ravindran is an Intake & Administrative Assistant at GWTC, while also completing her Bachelor of Science in Mental Health Studies at the University of Toronto with plans to pursue graduate school in psychotherapy.