Exploring the Dark Triad Traits: Communication and The Four Horsemen
How individuals communicate during a conflict is important, as it can predict the satisfaction and longevity of a particular relationship. Personality is crucial in understanding this process, and the Dark Triad personality traits of narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy can impact how a partner engages in communication in a relationship. Based on the understandings of the personality characteristics of an individual high on the Dark Triad traits (including callousness and manipulation), maneuvering a romantic relationship with such a person can prove to be complicated but is still possible if both parties are aware of the pitfalls they may fall into when it comes to communication.
To support previous research on the link between the Dark Triad personality traits and conflict communication, Horan et al. (2015) conducted a study to understand the relationship between the Dark Triad personality structure and four conflict messages. These messages are:
Contempt, which includes statements that come from a position of superiority
Defensiveness, which includes protecting oneself by making excuses or cross-complaining
Criticism, which entails attacking a partner’s personality or characters
And stonewalling, which entails withdrawing into silence
Jointly, these four messages are known as the Four Horsemen, and when present can lead to relationship dissatisfaction and even termination.
“Individuals high in psychopathy and Machiavellianism reported greater use of the Four Horsemen: stonewalling, defensiveness, criticism, and contempt.”
The study found that individuals who were high in the Dark Triad traits had higher levels of conflict and disagreements in romantic relationships, and that psychopathy and Machiavellianism were key in predicting the hostile and intense nature of these conflicts.
Additionally, individuals high in psychopathy and Machiavellianism reported greater use of the Four Horsemen: stonewalling, defensiveness, criticism, and contempt. The reports for narcissism were similar, except they did not include stonewalling. While psychopathy predicted criticism and contempt, which is the largest indicator of relational termination as it reduces affection and appreciation (Gottman & Levenson, 1999), Machiavellianism materialized as a decisive predictor of the four conflict messages.
Consequently, during conflict communication, individuals high in Machiavellianism report being more assertive and unresponsive (Johnson & McCroskey, 2010), and less adaptable (Martin, Anderson, & Thweatt, 1998). These individuals defend their assertive position without considering the needs of their partner during conflict communication.
As previously discussed, those high in the Dark Triad traits have been shown to prefer ludic love styles, and game playing along with low agreeableness suggest higher levels of overall conflict and disagreement. These, combined with short-term mating preferences and avoidance of commitment, which are characteristic of psychopathy, explain the utilization of negative communicative messages, such as the Four Horsemen. Defensiveness and stonewalling allow the individual to avoid commitment to their partner, and the low agreeableness coupled with the desire to play games would result in behaviours such as criticism and contempt. Negative communication, such as this, then results in more frequent and upsetting conflicts in relationships.
This is consistent with research, which posits that relationship dissatisfaction is a consequence of poor and ineffectual conflict communication (Koerner & Jacobson, 1994), and that high levels of negative communicative skills predict steeper drops in relationship satisfaction over time (Johnson et al., 2005). This shows how the Dark Triad personality structure produces negative conflict communication, which in turn greatly impacts relationship satisfaction.
For relationships and communication to work, both parties have to be aware of their potential propensity for any Dark Triad traits, and must be open to discussing the impacts of the Four Horsemen as they arise. Being aware of the likelihood of these conflict messages (stonewalling, defensiveness, criticism, and contempt) is the first step. The second step is being prepared to address them, take responsibility, and collaborate on reflection and problem solving in the best interest of the relationship to help it move forward.
References
Gottman, J. M., & Levenson, R. W. (1999). What predicts change in martial interaction over time? A study of alternative medicine. Family Process, 32, 143–158.
Horan, S. M., Guinn, T. D., & Banghart, S. (2015). Understanding Relationships Among the Dark Triad Personality Profile and Romantic Partners’ Conflict Communication. Communication Quarterly, 63(2), 156–170.
Johnson, A. D., & McCroskey, J. C. (2010). Machiavellianism, biological sex, and communication orientations. Human Communication, 13, 57–67.
Johnson, M. D., Cohan, C. L., Davilla, J., Lawrence, E., Rogge, R., Karney, B., et al. (2005). Problem-solving skills and affective expression as predictors of change in marital satisfaction. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 73, 15–27.
Koerner K., & Jacobson N. J. (1994). Emotion and behavior in couple therapy. In S. M. Johnson & L. S. Greenberg (Eds.), The heart of the matter: Perspectives on emotion in marital therapy (pp. 207–226). New York: Brunner/Mazel.
Martin, M. M., Anderson, C. M., & Thweatt, K. S. (1998). Aggressive communication traits and their relationships with the cognitive flexibility scale and the communication flexibility scale. Journal of Social Behavior and Personality, 13.
If you or someone you know would like to support in dealing with Dark Triad traits individually or in a relationship, Aleena and our team at The Growth & Wellness Therapy Centre can help. Please contact our intake and administration team to set up a free consultation with Aleena, or book yourself through her online booking link.
About the Author
Aleena Kazi, Registered Psychotherapist, is an individual and child therapist at The Growth & Wellness Therapy Centre focused on issues of depression, anxiety, trauma, stress and identity.