Originally posted in Taddle Creek’s Taddler Newsletter

Self care is a popular buzzword. Have you ever been confused about what it means? It can be hard to define because it means different things to different people. Below are four pillars of self-care that can be considered and implemented into daily practice.

Self care is thinking about and practicing self compassion. Simply put, embracing a responsibility to treat yourself with care and concern. Just like the way you treat someone you love, with compassion and understanding. It’s easy to offer empathy to others and hard to offer it to ourselves. How do you practice self compassion? One example is to release the grip on the relentless “should” that comes up when something doesn’t work out in a predicted way. I should have done that, I shouldn’t have said this. We are not mind readers or future predictors. Mistakes are normal and can be a doorway to a new perspective and a new path. We can extract the learning while still being kind.

“Boundaries that give too much away can leave us feeling depleted, burnt out, and taken advantage of. Boundaries that are too rigid can deprive us of taking risks and diminish our capacity for empathy.”

Self care is self discipline. It’s hard to find motivation to find movement, eat healthy, sleep adequately, and set a schedule. They’re not always inherently satisfying. At the same time, these 4 building blocks are key regulators to health, thus serving a higher purpose. Optimal health and mental health helps us work on goals, participate meaningfully in tasks, and show up for people. Finding purpose to do something where the motivational impacts may be delayed takes self discipline. Taking care of your mind and body in the long run is worth it.

Self care is self preservation. Have boundaries with work, life, and yourself. Researcher and Social Worker, Brene Brown, talks about boundaries in a simple way that sticks: what is okay and what is not okay. Boundaries that give too much away can leave us feeling depleted, burnt out, and taken advantage of. Boundaries that are too rigid can deprive us of taking risks and diminish our capacity for empathy. Balance happens when we can act as flexible and insightful gatekeepers to our time, energy, and acts of service. You’re the best consultant and enforcer to say what is okay and not okay for you, try to look inwards for a quiet moment and ask yourself. Don’t say yes when inside you’re shouting no.

Self care is finding what ignites joy and invites pleasure. This should not be confused with overindulgence. Joys and pleasures can be the small, non-highlight reel moments of life. They can also be goals related to work, relationships, and life. Adults, just like children, get fed and nourished with play and having creative goals to set and work towards. Leaving our comfort zones at times, which is not always pleasant, can be necessary for growth. Stretching the mind, body, and soul, can allow us to live out our full potential, or as close to it as we can envision.

What is it, big or small, that sparks enjoyment, passion, or potential in you?

If you or someone you know would like to explore the ways that Growth & Wellness Therapy Center can help you on your journey, please contact our intake and administration team to set up a free consultation with one or more of our clinicians, including Alex the author of this article.

What Does “Self Care” Mean?